1What if your spouse doesn’t believe that you are really in as much pain as you say you are?

In this episode, we talk about the importance of self care (for both the sick person and the healthy spouse). And how important it is to stay engaged within your community, or finding a supportive community if you don’t have one.

We also explore understanding compassion fatigue. As a partner of someone in pain, is no way that you as a loving and caring person aren’t absorbing some of pain.

Our guest this week is Relationship Coach and fellow Podcast Host Luis Congdon. He has worked with hundreds of couples, been a keynote speaker at international conferences, and interviews the top experts to help you to experience deep connections and lasting love.

Show Quotes:

“Have MORE health and use your relationship for that health.” – Luis

“Health is nothing when you have it, and everything when you don’t.” -Luis

“I don’t know how to be with you because my body constantly hurts” -Anonymous research patient

“As the years went on we just couldn’t keep up with our community.” -Sarah

“As the illness seeps in and literally takes away who you are, I didn’t feel like I had anything to give. How do you move beyond survival and into that place, as this broken person I still have something to offer.” -Sarah

You want to be Super-Dad and Super-Mom, you want your kids to see you as that, and when you are not living up to that it is incredibly painful.” -Luis

“Lyme pain is so deep, it’s indescribable, to me it is far worse than death. Its just this bone pain that is so constant.” -Sarah

“The idea is is that we can have a pain and our partner can not understand that, or will not connect to it, and it is incredibly painful, it just adds burden, to the pain.”- Luis

“Don’t focus on the fact that your partner doesn’t understand you, its not going to help you.” -Luis

“If you focus on the pain that you can solve or that you can deal with, it seems like it would enable or empower you to move forward where you are not focused on something that you can’t control.” -Luis

Resource Links: 

Luis’s Website and Podcast

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