Participation is forced. Anyone could be expected to participate at any time. Surviving will cost you. You can up your rate of survival by swallowing mounds of supplements. But it’ll cost you. Experimenting on your own body is completely normal. You can make friends along the way, but neither of you can really help each other, you are all trying to survive.
You will find different tools or weapons along the way that can ease your suffering or protect you from the unrelenting symptoms, but they too will come at a great cost. The tools and weapons that are helpful to you may not be helpful to other people. Everyone is so different and each person must find their own path towards victory! Just about the time when you think that you have figured out how to survive this insanity, the rules will change. What worked for you last time, will no longer work. Why? Because you are worn down from the battle. Your body can’t cope the same and your immune system is depleted. The symptoms you had controlled for awhile, now control you.
You don’t really sleep anymore. You try, but your mind is on high alert at all times. The wounds you have already incurred make your bones ache mercilessly. You long to stay still long enough to ease the pain. But then when you do have to move again, the pain is actually worse than it was before. You can’t stay still, but you struggle to move. While you are fighting this battle, your heart is at home with the people you love. But you no longer live in the same reality. You are separated from them. And they are separated from you. The trajectory of your life has been forever changed. All you can do is adapt. If you don’t, you suffer even more.
You have been changed by the trauma. Even when things are calm and safe your nervous system cannot relax. Your amygdala has been under constant stress and PTSD has become an unwelcome companion. When you sleep, you still feel the pain. It creeps in from those years of suffering. You push it aside upon waking, but your unconscious has hidden it away for another day. You want to go back to your life, the way it was before. But that life no longer exists.
You must then choose to recreate your life. It is possible. It too will take effort, but it is a worthy endeavor. You can do it. You can FIGHT to live and not just exist. Recovery requires transformation.You are not alone.
Hear about more ways to FIGHT for your health on LymeVoice, the podcast for people with Chronic Lyme!
***Because people often ask I found good treatment at a clinic in 2013. I continued with their protocol for 2 years while also implementing the Gerson protocol. I continue with these in maintenance mode!