July 18, 2014
Tim McGraw sings a song called Live like you were dying. It is a great song about loving more, exploring areas in your life that you had previously put on the back burner, and utilizing your last months of life. I have thought over that song many times in the last several years. But the reality for me (and many others) is that I didn’t have the energy to live like I was dying. I was dying. My body had crossed that threshold and I was using every movement and ounce of energy to actually stay alive. The two years before I got my “last minute” diagnosis and left for treatment, I knew I was dying. Of what, we did not know, but I was losing and the disease was winning.
I discovered a new genre of music recently. I love both country and praise and worship music. But as my strength waned, I needed every ounce of encouragement I could find. Country became almost too sad for where I was at emotionally. Praise and worship music became a life-line for me. It has played on both sides of the house almost endlessly for years. Well now that I’m not in survival-mode, I ‘ve started to browse through different types of genres. It was interesting to ask myself, what type of music would I play just for fun?
And I haven’t thought along those lines in so many years, I was always doing what I needed to do, in order to survive, nothing more. I’m still nowhere near normal, but I’m not hovering @ death any longer, and the world is quite an enchanting place with so much to offer, that I have yet to take advantage of. My short list is:I want to go horseback riding for a day, I want to play an instrument, I want my house to be clean, I want to go out more,I want to publish my children’s books, I want to have more fun in every area of life.
So I found a genre of music called southern gospel. It is a lovely blend of country and praise and worship music. I feel like I struck gold! I love it. It isn’t party music, but it is precious to me for the day to day. So that song Live like you were dying, is great. But as it played this morning on my new Pandora station called “southern gospel” it triggered a lot of memories, times where I couldn’t go sky diving or Rocky Mountain climbin’.
I still can’t do those things, but I can hold my new niece, Edith. I have tons of nieces and nephews but after they surpassed the lofty weight of 10lbs, I didn’t have the strength to hold them. So I watched them snuggle in the arms of someone else, and tried to be a thankful observer. Today, I get to live like I’m actually Living! Which for the record, is MUCH, MUCH, better than living like you are dying! Cheers!!!